bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №87686
 30.09.2013
The wider the monitor, the longer the name of the variable.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87685
 30.09.2013
Yes to! Revenge is done! The cat stuck my leg in my mouth while I was sneezing!

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87684
 30.09.2013
Men remember it! In the abbreviation PMS, the letter P indicates premenstrual - it is not the menstruation itself, it is the days before it, about a week before the blood itself. During PMS, nothing can prevent a girl from giving you, except an unexplained desire to kill you, and then cheer, and then eat chocolate. Do not confuse. I apologize, quoted, for the release of the girl from the physique about the cause of menstruation and the "former" guy who called it PMS...

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №87683
 30.09.2013
XX: And we have colloquiums and seminars. Nothing pleasant either.
yyy: It’s all a bit of a bit compared to the labs of students of some techno. Imagine, Nastya, if in three months you were told in general the course of history from the Ancient World to 2010, and when the laboratories began, the first of the four would be called "Assembly of a stone tail from issued stone, rope and rod", and in the end of the second would be written only "Process the stone tail obtained in the first work the nearest grass so that a precise copy of the 18th century English frigate can be obtained."

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №87682
 30.09.2013
I went to a market for mayonnaise. I bought it, I look at the date of production and I can't find it. The further dialogue:
For what amount of mayonnaise?
The seller (in spite of the packaging) - for October 38.
Do I have (or do I have) this?
The seller - Oh... (again looking at the package) - means the 33rd.
The curtain :)

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №87681
 30.09.2013
News about the opening of the Crimean shore in Moscow (instead of the highway now a wide pedestrian area with a backpack)
The Camel:
I have a tweet:
A-A, there are wooden boxes! The Ghetto! Two billion for such a collage, they will rot by spring!
They are drunk from rot.
The phenomena! There are phenols and carcinogens! Sobyanin wants us to sit and breathe with vapors!
- impregnation without phenols, and lawns laced - there will be no vapors.
In Russia – and without phenols? Do you believe this?
Lakes are also carcinogenic. And stinking! Yesterday I walked three kilometers below the current – and it smelled. No other shop!
It is unpleasant to sit on the lakes. Not painted wood is ecological, but does the bloody regime care about the environment?! to
The wooden shops are a sink! In Europe, they have long put beautiful chairs, woven from the vineyard and decorated with white ribbons. And we are afraid, because the woven chair can be used as a weapon in the rally!
We drank bubble again!
The A-A-A!! to
W W W W W W W!! to
O O O O O O!! to

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №87680
 30.09.2013
According to the work mounted the plot about the 90th anniversary of the sports society "Dynamo" Pleased the poster:
"HISTORY OF THE COUNTRY - HISTORY OF DYNAMO"

And it is true! =) is

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №87679
 30.09.2013
Under a note for an Excel review:

Maxnk81: Is Bubble Castrated Interesting?

Exler: Bubble castrated is interesting.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №87678
 30.09.2013
We play Alias. The girl tries to explain the word "vibrating":
The phone doesn’t ring, but...
We are all a group:
It will ring!
And we understand that they are wrong, but the other antonym is categorically not selected.)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №87677
 30.09.2013
XXX is
There is a tutorial for students-economists "How to write and defend a diploma"

ZZZ
Preservation may be useful.

XXX is
Exclusively, fucking, for students of economics

ZZZ
Special Economists

XXX is
and ah,
As a bassist.
The mind is different)

Igor
They don’t need a cock, but without them it’s not so much.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №87676
 30.09.2013
X: The natural selection. Those with weaker fingers throw out the ending tube of toothpaste.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №87675
 30.09.2013
By the way, according to British scientists, the profession of a moderator is one of the most harmful because of the constant negativity that they (moderators) have to read every day on the Internet.
They do so in Britain. We take the bus or go to the clinic here and negative as necessary.

[ + 13 - ] Comment quote №87674
 30.09.2013
He stood on his own, proudly shrinking from pain.
by Bojan
This is a child in the composition about Pushkin.

[ + 27 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87673
 30.09.2013
of female logic.
In the evening next door runs a daughter in a body stuck only on the top and bottom button, well, I think you need to help, wife!!! I ask: " Do you wear it or wear it?" answer: "I wear it!"
...bl... where were they there and stayed... how could a woman choose the third one out of two options?! to

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №87672
 30.09.2013
From a good mood asked the seller "Orbit" with the taste of cocaine... She sought in full seriousness for a minute, a small row slowly rolled into the corks on the floor, then something came to her, she slowly turned and with very intriguing intonations in half a voice promised:

Next time I’ll chew you with the taste of chicken, I swear to your mom!

I am not just wounded by a light arrow of graceful verbality! Drunk killed!


[ + 28 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87671
 30.09.2013
xxx: Please help me remember the title of the series from childhood. Showed on TV-6 in my opinion, the American series of the 1990s is like the 90s about how a boy moved with his parents into a new house and made friends with a girl-spirit who lived on his roof. She always walked in a white dress, because she died in the 19th century, hanging on a hood or something... And the boy then helps her remember how she died, so that she can return to her parents.

yyy: The series you are looking for is called "Elli and Jules". The dress was pink :)

X: No, I didn’t even think about it. Yes, it is a nuance :)))

zzz: I watched this series on black-and-white television as a child, so I also thought until now that Ellie’s dress was white))

[ + 29 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87670
 30.09.2013
__NoMercy: When I take a shower, it seems to me that the alarm has worked on the car, in the room the phone tires, the door is ringing, and the TV shows my favorite video?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №87669
 30.09.2013
In Russia successfully tested a missile that causes rain":
By the way, flooding in the Far East and rainy rockets involuntarily create some logical connection... right?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №87668
 30.09.2013
Bolshoy Vova: We still need to ban the sale of weapons, drugs, the presence of prostitutes and aliens in computer games
Zingelshuher: And in real life I will observe
Zingelshuher: Especially the last

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №87667
 30.09.2013
XXX: The ventilator in the notebook started to crack again
Buy a Sony Vaio
XXX: No, until it breaks down, I'll chase it
What if the smoke goes away?
XXX: The Pooh Until it breaks.
YYY: Imagine my mother entering the room.
“Jura, why do you have so much smoke in your room and curtains in your cockpit?
Go away, I’m playing tanks.

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