bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №89114
 31.10.2013
A commentary on the smart AirWaves breathing mask, which estimates the level of air pollution and creates a kind of city map based on these data:

QUQ
If you are in a heavily polluted area, the mask simply blocks the access of oxygen.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №89113
 31.10.2013
VVAH250: A strange question. Can I take a photo? and :)
CHATSKY: If a photo frame can take pictures, it’s already a tablet.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №89112
 31.10.2013
Dialogue in the market:
Are the mandarins sweet?
Seller: They are very sweet.
I: Oh, I like the acid more...
They are with oxygen.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №89111
 31.10.2013
Comments on the article "How to swim with bound hands": Thank you dear editor! Now I will know that the victims need to tie not only their hands, but their legs as well.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №89110
 31.10.2013
News of the cultural capital: In St. Petersburg, four teenagers became the victims of a bandit.

According to unofficial data, the teenagers smelled glue in the burnt house, and the man began to masturbate in front of them. Even in a state of euphoria, minors were able to call on adults for help.

So we live...

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №89109
 31.10.2013
Discussions on social norms on electricity in the hobot:
Tell me, 70 kW is per apartment or per person?
YYY: This is for the refrigerator.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №89108
 31.10.2013
Like a car – like a Mercedes, like a phone – like an iPhone, like clothes – like a Columbia, like a TV – like a Samsung, like a vacation – like a foreign country.

A hallowin is fu, because it is not Slavic!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №89107
 31.10.2013
I’m not going to watch Bondarchuk and play dances anyway. Do not persuade.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №89106
 31.10.2013
by Bert:
Could you borrow me $7,000 in advance?
by Krack:
You haven’t given me the last 5k!
by Bert:
Well, 7 you borrow, 5 I will pay you in debt and I will only owe 2 thousand.
by Krack:
and 😉
by Krack:
Remember which school you are studying at?
by Bert:
economic
by Krack:
You have economists in your blood.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №89105
 31.10.2013
I only now realized that I was working with witches, kikhimors, and lizards. Make a halloween counsel. Shhas in the corridor passed with the methodist and said that it was not the pediatric council, but the shabbas. Who was in the toilet.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №89104
 31.10.2013
I cut my hair a few days ago.
Today at two o’clock I went out to the night camp. The PPS came and asked for documents. Understanding that one of the reasons is my hair, stretching the passport, said: you don’t look that I’m bald, I just shaved me.
When they broke out, they were released without inspection.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №89103
 31.10.2013
My gynecologist told me I was a virgo. She thought I was nine Latin!! And I know! I am not a virgin! I am a shooter! I took and transferred virgo to sagittarius! Am I good?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №89102
 31.10.2013
XXX: We had ZZZ at the lecture today eating eggs.))
XXX is cooked.
XXX: He’s a type of worker, so he’s constantly eating either eggs or bananas.
YYY: Eggs and bananas are straight by Freud.
YYY: Is that exactly where he wants to pump it?

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №89101
 31.10.2013
The xxx:

I get up at 6 a.m. every morning for my graduation. The guy decided to make me pleasant and wake me up, then kiss, sex, romance. In short, he got up at half-five, came to me, fell on the road, broke both palms. I open, and there is something standing in the dark, stretching out my bloody hands and saying, “You offered the doctor to play, right?”

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №89100
 31.10.2013
A turtle, if it has no armor, what is it? Naked or homeless?
YYY: She is dead.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №89099
 31.10.2013
Talk to friends of Capoeira:
What will you do with "is there anything"?
...
yyy: and then you will say "I’ve danced his piss"

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №89098
 31.10.2013
XHH: Today I saw the standard of human stupidity. "In short" instead of "in short" I am no longer afraid of anything...

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №89097
 31.10.2013
111: I still don't understand many modern tricks
At least a toothbrush, which is not only for teeth but also for the cheeks, for the tongue... for the ass, for the buttocks.
111: Why do we need this?
22 for the ass. O_O
333) toothbrush for JOPE
444: the eye brush =)
333: lose I understood the expression <draw point>
444: and I caught up in such hard-to-reach places))
111 is crazy.
111: guys, I am not that! I wanted to tell you!
I talked about the stupidity and uselessness of certain things.
222: You hit us in the very heart with your ass-brush.
222 So do not interfere. A new concept is born.
111: The Fool

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №89096
 31.10.2013
xxx: and I also found tea with a taste of fire=)
I still have to find cookies with the taste of guitar and meat.
with a taste of barda and there will be a walk into the forest with a fireplace and guitar=)

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №89095
 31.10.2013
Sister: Now such fun lights have appeared, they can be attached to the closet when you open the door - they light up, and when you close - they turn off. With a motion sensor.
My daughter, 12 years old: we have a refrigerator for this!
Sister: Do you keep everything in the refrigerator?
The daughter is not upset: And at night everything needed is in the refrigerator!

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