bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №158608
 31.08.2022
I work in evening shifts. A colleague asked her to replace her, as she had to take the child to the doctor she had long wanted to go to. The request was, “If I can do everything, I will go out myself, and if I can’t, I will call you to go out.” have agreed.

3 hours before the start of work. There is no call. 2 hours left. I call, the phone is not taken. Half an hour later, I called again to clear my conscience, but there was no response. I turned on the series and made the coffee. A friend is hysterical:

Why are you not at work? I asked you!

You said you would call, you would warn. And since there was no call, you managed to do it by yourself.

I could guess.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №158607
 31.08.2022
There is an opportunity to do – do. There is a possibility not to do - do not do. Do not miss the opportunity!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №158606
 31.08.2022
People from Serbia write:
“Our politicians are too soft, we need a strong hand, we need our Putin here in Serbia.
I: Okay, and if you personally don’t like the policy of such a president, what would you do?
Taxi Driver: Well, I’ll go on a rally or vote against him in the election.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №158605
 31.08.2022
YouTube, who hit the advertisement in the "sounds of rain to fall asleep" - burn you in hell, shit!

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №158604
 31.08.2022
xxx: If my husband will betray me⁠ then I will find out about this not on the phone by secret correspondence, not through neighbors and the strange behavior of the spouse, but by a fluent conversation in a dream...

And while I’m calm... – “Sereg, заебал, drag the wheel... u-u. Cement, cement and cement.”

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №158603
 31.08.2022
Xxx: I was three years old when my peer offered to show each other letters. I refused for a long time, but she was persistent. Eventually, he showed her his house. She looked closely and showed her scripture. And then I felt deceived: I have a whole design, and it has nothing to look at.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №158602
 30.08.2022
History of my acquaintance. I met a girl in Tinder. Both in the questionnaire indicated the purpose of sex. They signed up, called. Going to her. She asks him to buy some products at the table. He is buying. She, say, a little delayed, leave the bag at the conservancy so that the heavy thing in her hands does not fade. He leaves out. is waiting. The girl disappeared. He comes to the conservancy, and she says that the foods a man has taken.

No food, no girls 🤣🤣

I cried in the voice.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №158601
 30.08.2022
In fact, the most peaceful are those
Who really has to go to attack?

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №158600
 30.08.2022
I worked in the glorious city of Tel Aviv in the early 1990s. I was late a couple of times, and the boss solemnly handed me the keys from the office. I had to come half an hour earlier, remove the office from the alarm, and leave half an hour later. Thank God, about a year later, another employee was late a couple of times, and the keys were handed over to her. No material cares or morals.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №158599
 30.08.2022
A dog can learn up to 250 words and count up to five. This is equivalent to 3 years of human age.
Cat: Put the wanted on your teaching, words and numbers. That’s the equivalent of 43 years of human age.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №158598
 30.08.2022
xxx: I was sitting in a computer club, playing, and a company of doctors, a four person, was sitting next to me. And suddenly one of them had a mouth foam, convulsions...

I had been frightened to want to help, but his partners just shouted in the chat "pause, Demon again AFK." They held him while shaking, then gave him water and pushed him on to play.

To say I was in shock was to say nothing.



YYY: A great team

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №158597
 29.08.2022
We have lunch. The husband:

“Darling, do you have your hand in the bowl, get me this tomato?”

I get without problems. I ask :

Do you not pass through?

It goes through, of course, I just have my hand swallowed.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №158596
 29.08.2022
All cultures are different from each other. It was international.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №158595
 29.08.2022
One farmer connected feeders for animals and birds via the Internet and now anyone from anywhere on the planet can feed them.

But pressing the button is worth money, donate any amount and press the button once a portion of food for a horse or a donkey or cow, sheep, goat, pavilion... fish in a pond, feeders for wild birds.

During the year, the farmer collected more than a million dollars in donations.

It turned out that the rich and lonely found in the feeding of animals through the Internet a breath for themselves and colored their lives, looking at "their" fed pets and pets.

The farmer says he has a lot of free time and a lot of money.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №158594
 29.08.2022
– Yakov Semenovich, when you were in Paris, did you go to the bordell?
of course.
What about the Eiffel Tower?
There are no such.
So how is it?
She will stand for a long time.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №158593
 28.08.2022
It is necessary to ruin the present so that people would want to live in the future as in the past.

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №158592
 28.08.2022
We have already achieved significant successes in the difficult work of silencing failures.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №158591
 28.08.2022
I am an illustrator of children’s books. I draw accordingly: big good eyes, naive smile, cartoon style and so on. It’s angry when they say, “You’re an artist, you need to paint something serious!”
Recently he illustrated the Red Hat. Painted as seriously as possible the scene with the opening of the belly of the wolf. I sent it to everyone who said my work was too childish. No longer touched.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №158590
 28.08.2022
You never understood me!
Will you be a whisky?
Maybe I was wrong with you.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №158589
 27.08.2022
Can’t lose weight by summer? Maybe you will recover by winter.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna