bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №130133
 30.06.2016
It is not so much angry intergender quarrel in задолбайках, as the very relationship to each other. Grandmothers who believe that all men are goats, kill them naked. Men who think that all the babies are crazy, too, die naked. Contribute to the cleansing of the world from genetically disadvantaged plagues and allow others to live and love each other.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №130132
 30.06.2016
by 20719
Moderators and Editors, AOWU

"...and nothing that the gender of the child is laid already at birth, and it is already too late to hold?"

Nothing to confuse?

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №130131
 30.06.2016
by 20724

scream, then get in the roof
Didn’t get more? Everything ahead?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №130130
 30.06.2016
>>What such a questionable "activity" this person may have, I just get lost in guessing.

In today’s reality, it is everybody. Whatever you do and how you behave, there will always be those who categorically disagree with your way of life. And with the new laws, out of a couple of dissatisfied with each other rights under the law will be the one who first reached the administration and more pleasantly slid high-ranking officials.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №130129
 30.06.2016
Wake up p.
The User:
Help me!!! to
T.Pby :
? = )
The User:
The computer writes what it wants, I can’t stop it!! to

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №130128
 30.06.2016
They can choose new owners.
They will choose the same ones.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №130127
 30.06.2016
When I studied in primary classes (1990-1992) My grandmother gave me morse in a bottle of 0.5. But as it often happened then, I was picked up by the boys from 5-6th classes. There was no point in getting rid of them – they would have drowned the mass. I endured half a year. Then came the thought.

One day, the morse was drunk at home, and instead a solution of manganese was poured. The same day, the same guys successfully took him away. I was not against. In four bars they all drank. It’s now I understand that I’d drink two bars less – trouble. But then I was filled with such a pleasant feeling of revenge that for the rest of my life. I thought it was necessary to add more sugar, or fire, almost burned.

They were then washed their stomachs. Parents to school. The scandal. I got such lilies from my father and grandfather that I still scratch. Since then, no one has ever touched my food.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №130126
 30.06.2016
by 20724
Urgently give out a barin of holograms, on which he will be able to mourn and even beat, or let not God ruin his health... By the way, there is no such law yet? Or too little...

[ + 21 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №130125
 30.06.2016
In other words, people in a position.
I had a servant for her.
Remove your anger.
They are fucking already...

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №130124
 30.06.2016
It was in Tajikistan at the Kokayda airport. I was given a weekend (day break in flights). And I decided to take the sunrise, spring, the birds sing. In the grass to lie is not an option, the boss is walking or the TZ will move. I decided to climb the roof of the hotel (4th floor), took a blanket and a bottle of water with me. He went down, lay his head in the shadow to some huge tank standing in the middle of the roof, and fell asleep. And it should be noted that exactly at 12.00 the operational guard checks the emergency warning system with the help of the most powerful roar. How then I understood when I gained the ability to speak and think clearly about this enormous tank to which I lay with my head tightly and was jealous! The first thing I wanted to do after he turned on, I wanted to jump but then my legs and arms were down, I could only turn a little and take the embryo posture. It was terrible, a tornado tornado was born and intensified within me, sparks came out of my closed eyes... in general, I did not burn.... :)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №130123
 30.06.2016
(Vim vs IDE at Hebr)
xxx:...as for programming languages and markup, you will need to master several IDEs with their own features.

YYYY :
Everyone knows that there is no way back from the IDE: to the IDE users who dared to use the notebook, the IDE police team goes to the house (two firefighters and a dog; the dog attentively listens to your excuses before firefighters start to baking you).

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №130122
 30.06.2016
That is, if I jump all the series of Santa
Barbary (2137 series), and my friend downloads all
Santa Barbara and his grandmother.
Santa Barbara is my provider.
It will hold all the Santa series.
Barbara, and my friend’s provider will be
Keep all of Santa Barbara's series, and
The grandmother’s servant will also keep it at home.
The Santa Barbara series.
Then I get bored and I remove all the series.
of Santa Barbara. My provider will not remove it.
all series of Santa Barbara, and a friend provider
It will not remove all of the Santa Barbara series, and
A friend's grandmother's provider won't delete all the series
of Santa Barbara.
Here, the secret services begin to work hard.
Looking at a friend’s grandmother, she learns.
It jumped there. It has 2137 entries.
Video files without a name 8
of years. Everything needs to be studied carefully, and suddenly
Is it Santa Barbara?
My grandmother is running at this time.
"Secret Materials "

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №130121
 30.06.2016
On the website of the intimate store, so that the customer is not embarrassed, assured that the courier does not even know what it delivers. So, now I work in a courier company and with all responsibility declare: and the manager knows, and the warehouser knows, and the logist knows, and the courier knows. by Doscanal. Up to the article. Everyone knows that you are ordering a false!
– – – – – – –
I hope you don’t use them there.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №130120
 30.06.2016
For centuries there has been a struggle between those to whom the fresh wind of change is blowing from the window of Overton and those to whom it smells.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №130119
 30.06.2016
Any autobiography resembles a school diary from which a student pulled out pages with pairs.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №130118
 30.06.2016
This story happened to a relative of our close friend. In the 1920s, he was a doctor, lived in Peter and went to work every day through the Mars Field. At that time, the Mars Field was transformed into a cemetery for the dead revolutionaries. There were no people there at night at all, normal people, but the robbers joked. True, our hero was not concerned, because he returned home not so late, and he was just a rich body.

One day he had to go home later than usual. He goes and looks at the sides. Here, from anywhere, the vanity male painted and said, say, I am going in the same direction - at the same time it will be safer. They go, the man comes to him with fear, and he begins to tell all sorts of passions about who was killed here and when, who and how they robbed. And first, he says, the clock is picked. Our hero suddenly realized that the old man is talking his teeth, and the clock is probably not. I checked my clock pocket, no. He grabbed his companion for his chest and said, say, give, shit, clock, or shake the soul. The old man was frightened and gave the clock, and he ran away.

The doctor comes home, dressed up, and at dinner to his wife tells a story about how cleverly the old man used his clock. And his wife said to him, “So you forgot your clock at home today.” Our hero rushed to the clocks selected by the old man, and on them - a gifted inscription to a famous professor. The address was quickly found, and in an hour he was already knocking at the professor’s door. The old man opened it to him, but when he recognized the robber, he immediately lost consciousness. The thief was a doctor. After that, they became great friends.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №130117
 30.06.2016
Rosselkhoznadzor reports a sharp increase in the quality of Turkish vegetables and fruits.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №130116
 30.06.2016
My friend and I have been in contact since school for many years, always together, almost like brothers.

By the way, a friend has about 65 000 rubles. He is not married and lives alone. I have 35 000 rubles. Wife and child.

Once we met on the street, I went out of the store, he came in the car and asked for money to borrow for gasoline, asked for 500 rubles, said tomorrow will give 100%.

I show my wallet and say that I have the last thousand rubles, and I have almost a week to go. He says, no question, I’ll give it tomorrow.

In fact, it was 3 years ago. We are 5 minutes walk from each other. More than this person I have hardly seen or heard.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №130115
 30.06.2016
I work as a chief. I am also a staff member. Currently, we are looking for a programming firm 1C (Accounting Program). I made a summary. Zp is fairly good, twice the region average. I called for lunch yesterday:

Are you looking for a 1C programmer? PS is real? Is this normal work? Will I not sell books? (It seems that the man has already gotten into this divorce)

-Good, yes, the company is real (I begin to tell what we do, etc.) Tell me about yourself, please.

Let’s meet and talk, I’ll come to you.

At 18:00 in the center.

I come. I see a man of 40 in classic shoes under a sportswear. I am surprised by the programmers. The programmer did not come alone, but with his wife and three children who sat on the bench. He calls his wife and meets her. Then the children. I ask for a resume, where did I work? He was a private entrepreneur who sold animal feed at a marketplace.

Are you familiar with 1C programming?

No, but I learn quickly, I can pait.

Am.. Why did you decide to come to us?

Well, we don’t have a lot to do with food, and here the salary is more than our monthly salary.

Sorry, you are not suited to us.

Do you want a bribe? We are not against...

I left with a deep sense of misunderstanding of this life.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №130114
 30.06.2016
I remembered a worker at our school. A great man, tough. He regularly promoted atheism in his classes. Everything would be nothing, but he taught in the Orthodox High School.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna