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[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №157515
 24.01.2022
So I had such a situation. I buy a cupcake from my grandmother in the market. Money only 5000. I give a bill. He says: No surrender, I will come, I will exchange. She took the money. I stand and wait. 10 minutes. 20 minutes. After half an hour, I realized I was dropped. And on the box there was a gram of 400 cucumbers and a couple of packs of cabbage, rubles for 500. He took what was there and went home. At least it was delicious. But the grandmother of Pidar-si is old.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №157514
 24.01.2022
This story was told to me by my wife’s aunt, who from the late 1980s to the middle of the 2000s worked as a tram driver in Moscow.

From the 1st person.

In the mid-1990s. I go by tram, Saturday, late evening, winter, wild ice. And here I see a truck running across my side from the mountain. Probably couldn’t get in, it turned and pulled.

I hit the brakes, turned on the signal, but I still understand that our trajectories will cross.

The sound of broken glass. The tram goes off the rails and stops.

I go to the salon. There are a couple of frightened landers, no injuries.

I went out on the street. The driver runs out of the truck, runs to me and begins to read.

Thank you, thank you very much! Oh how lucky I was! What would it be if not you.

Why thank you for that? Gai will be full of you now. You will also replace your truck at your own expense. If I had stopped earlier, I might not have struck.

Better in you than there. He showed where he was heading.

And there is a restaurant with a parking lot of 600 graces and all kinds of Grand Cherokee.

OSAGO did not exist then, and ordinary people did not drive such cars. The truck driver was really lucky.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №157513
 24.01.2022
One day, my friend and I quit drinking/smoking to run a marathon in a year. They started to work hard, run, watch food. Results are wasted. After half a year, we ran 30 km through the crossed terrain without any problems. Down there, up there. Well, once our comrade, a drunk alkas, who drank vodka for breakfast, decided to run with us the standard route of 6 km. We laughed, but we took him with us. Corche, this guy ran 6km in 24 minutes, against my best score at 28. Sport is shit.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №157512
 24.01.2022
I met on the dating site with a man 42 years old, in the photo and telephone conversation liked, decided to meet in the movie. Wake up, half empty lobby, I go in, I call... and the only person who brings the phone to his ear is his grandfather (in fact he was 65, but he looked older). He was dressed precisely in the sweater "Boys", only such a green-black color, in trays with lamps, in sharp shoes and with a trunk. Suits to me. The further dialogue:

And Anastasia?

and Alexander??? Let me explain!

“Well, I liked the conversation, and if you told me how old I am, you’t even give me a chance.

Alexander, I won’t give him either. Whose photo did you send me?

This is my nephew. In the cinema?

Alexandra, what kind of movie? In respect of your age, will you be taken to the subway?

Do we not go to the movie?

The curtain.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №157511
 24.01.2022
Anyone who has visited the bucks at least once does not want to go back.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №157510
 24.01.2022
Review of Thermos
Once he threw a net into the sea,
I came with a tinnitus.”
by A.S. Pushkin

My friend has a second-class son, a sharp guy and a future blogger-millionaire. His name is Marik.
Today, it is true, he has not a million followers, but a little less, only three: a father, a younger brother and a grandmother.
Well, nothing, if there is not a single video on your channel yet, and you have all three subscribers - it is already a big success.
Here, in the country, on New Year’s holidays, Mark planned to make his first video review. Just watched? A cat soul? It is difficult, she is running all the time at the stage of installation of the stativ. Review of Salute? So he has been shot for a long time, there is only a sealed trace on the snow. Oh, and his grandfather gave him an excellent firm thermos. This is the case, with a thermos review you can get a billion views, if you are lucky.
Marrick installed a stativ in the kitchen, fixed the phone, turned on the recording, entered the frame and began:

“Hello everyone who has not signed up, subscribe to my channel and put likes.
Today I have my new thermos. It contains one liter of tea and the tea should be kept hot for 48 hours.
This is what we will check. I have a cupboard, a cupboard. Don’t come in, I’m going to take a look! Sugar, lemon, thermometer, paper on which we write all the data, a pencil and rubber to attach to the thermos paper and pencil...
So, our tea is ready, we measure the temperature, we get 96 degrees. We close tightly the traffic jamming, the cover, we record everything and we leave. Don’t worry, we’ll see you on the river.”

Mark approached the matter seriously, gathered all the filming equipment in his backpack, asked his dad, got up on skies and went through the forest toward the river. 3 km in total.
I wanted to get to the river itself, but spit, it was very cold, and there was a strong wind. Mark stopped in the snow desert, set up a stand with his phone and continued his video:

“Dear friends, here we are already in nature. There, you see, is a forest, and far away, a river.
So, in a note on the thermos I wrote that the tea poured in at 10.00.
Now at 15:20 we put the thermos right in the snow and we will return here tomorrow at the same time, then we will see what the temperature of the tea will be.”

In order not to lose the thermos in the snow, Mark built a small snowboard next to him and pleased with himself, returned to the country with red cheeks.
The next day, Marrick again picked up his backpack, got up on skies and left to take his lonely, frozen thermos.

The blogger came back very angry, even a little tear when Dad asked - what happened?
Marik quietly laid the bag on the floor, turned it over, three frozen fishes and thermos sprang out of the pack with a wooden knock.
He handed a note to his father and, whispering, turned to the window.

A father read his son’s handwriting:

Drinking tea at 10:00
The tea temperature is 96 degrees.

Then came an adult handwriting:

"Dear, unfamiliar friend, now 9.30, we could not measure the temperature of the tea, because there is no thermometer, but the tea itself is just burning, and most importantly very delicious, sugar in moderation, and also lemon in place. We were six people and we all had enough to warm up.
Sorry for ruining your experiment, as an apology we leave a little of our catch.
Good luck in youth and New Year!

P.S

The snow is beautiful.”

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №157509
 24.01.2022
Volodin: The State Duma is ready to discuss the issue of recognition of the LPR and the DPR.

And it is not possible for the Duma to recognize the already existing Russian regions and to deal with their problems?

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №157508
 24.01.2022
We have such an active couple. They always have a lot of things to do, but they still have time to go out and play sports. And due to this activity, clothes are chosen as comfortable as possible. All dresses, shirts, eyebrows, cosmetics of the wife are not in motion.

They were invited to the wedding. A beautiful dress, jewelry, makeup was pulled from the distant shelves. She turns in front of the mirror and notices that her three-year-old son is somehow strange, but is watching her closely. She asks him:

Is it okay?

What he gives:

What are you, woman? ! to

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna