bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №157406
 01.01.2022
There is no soldier in the field. The forest is a partisan squad.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №157405
 01.01.2022
Judy and the Snake.

The last place where you can find a theme for the bike is the cemetery.
We buried Jodi, my favorite senior nurse and hospital supervisor.
I worked with her side by side for more than a decade, she was a truly outstanding nurse, calm and balanced even in the most desperate situations.
An innate leader who knows his subordinates very well, who can find a common language with the most nervous doctors, caring like a mother — walked around the hospital, replacing the nurse with the food she brought from the cafeteria — in short, I respected and loved her, since I worked in a team with her.
She went a long way — a nurse in the department, a senior nurse in the reception room, a hospital administrator. The last position is actually the head of the entire hospital, especially responsible at nights and weekends when she had to make very difficult decisions.
She grew old, began to get sick - and I became her anesthesiologist, at the same time - a nurse and a babysitter, encouraging her in all sorts of ways - then I will wash my head and shave my hair, remind me of cosmetics, pull a light cocktail in secret...
Her last admission did not go without me - I went to intensive care and transferred her to a fan.
She didn’t get better, days went by – and she asked herself to let go.
We obeyed, not immediately, I begged her to give us another day or two.
She reluctantly agreed for another 24 hours — it wasn’t better.
And she quietly left, surrounded by the love of her children and her extensive family of staff at her hospital.

The funeral, however, surprised me – I was prepared to burn – but it wasn’t here!
Instead of sadness, her relatives and friends organized a celebration of her life.
One by one, those who knew her stood up and told fun, touching and frankly funny stories.
This is one story I would like to share.
This iron lady with steel nerves had a phobia.
Jodie was afraid of snakes, to fainting, to madness and loss of reason!
People in the receiver worked fun, friendly and inventive, endlessly playing each other - a good team, with hooks and additions dealing with their very difficult tasks.
The scammers do not recognize subordination — and the head of the reception department, Jodi, is no exception.
Learned about her phobia - a toy snake was waiting for her then on the desk, then hanging from the stativ for intravenous transfusions, then hiding in the cabinet for medicines.
Over the years, however, Jodi got used to and stopped whispering and jumping on the table — the snake was toy and stopped causing panic.
This led to the fact that it stopped playing - it became uninteresting, jokes and jokes tend to get old and bored.
Until one day, a Mexican cotton gathering strawberries was not bitten by a snake.
He doubted little - he threw, as he thought, a grimpering snake into a hole with a cap and flew to save his young life, with a hole under his foreheads.
Running forward, the serpent was untouched, pretending to grimace for mimicry. It is easy to confuse them - and the color and length, and even the sling at the end of the tail, the sling serpent looks pretty awful.
And only looking at it - you can notice that the straw is less, and it is not possible to crack it.
And then you can see the difference in the shape of the head and patterns and thickness of the body.
All this the bite did not know and, of course, decided that he had not long to live.
Whirlpool arriving to reception rest - he falls on sorting.
The most experienced nurses are always placed on the sorting - with limited resources and time - severe and dangerous conditions need to be recognized as quickly and efficiently as possible.
Crying out of the horror of a near death, the patient was taken to the sorting room, where, to her own disaster, Jodie replaced her employee Bill, a friend and the main initiator of numerous snake jokes.
The panicked patient tricked to miss the snake — she climbed to the table and rolled a clove.
Where it was discovered by Jodi, smiled about herself, said, Bill again accepted his stupidity, and stretched out his hand - to remove the toy from the table.
The toy raised its head and struck...
This heartbreaking scream became a tradition – it was heard in ALL the hospital, in every corner of it.
Jodie herself with her back, blindly flew on the trunk with the patient - a trick almost impossible for a woman far from acrobatics rather burdensome and unyouthful.
She was spinning for a long time — first coffee, then someone came to the mind to take her to the bar, where she came to herself after a bottle of bourbon (a strong woman, in everything, except snakes)...
No one ever played it again, it’s clear.
I write now and smile, remembering these cute stories about a dear person to me.
Jodie, if there are heavens, there is a corner for honest medical workers.
And you are there, deserving eternal peace, without pain, anxiety and snakes.
We’ll see you again if I get this award.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №157404
 01.01.2022
December 31 was a weekend because no one was working anyway.
No one is working for 30 years.

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