The best guarantee of the condemnation of power is its interchangeability.

Working in multitasking!
Oh my God, how beautiful it was called.

A familiar woman-dietist told a funny story from the 90s about one of her patients. I will call her Marina and his Sergei.



Sergey in the past was an athlete, then engaged in business, succeeded in it. But relaxed without the daily stresses that were in the sport. Again, the "shale" money appeared, delicacies, alcohol and so on. As a result, the guy gained under 150 kg, hardly got into his jeep. I asked for advice from a friend of Marina. He sent her a fairy fee if she left all the former clients and took care only of them.



Marina took care of the matter. I developed a special diet for Sergey strictly on hours and with certain products, bioadditives, a complex of exercises, acupuncture, massages, meditation and something else there (I am not special in these matters, so I did not get into the details). They met once a week, convened daily for correction and control.



Sergey was a disciplined client and strictly followed all her instructions. The results did not slow to affect after a short time - he really began to throw out the excess, which inspired both to continue the classes with even greater zeal.



A year later, Sergei dropped about 80 kg, was absolutely happy. He built, broke down, paid more to Marina than he promised. It was the last meeting, when he said on the phone that he could not come to her - he had an urgent business trip for a couple of weeks. Sergey promised to come immediately upon arrival from this trip.



He called Marina, told her he had arrived and was ready to meet her.



A bell to the door - Marina opened and (further her words quote):



“I almost fainted – Sergey stood on the threshold with a huge bouquet of flowers, smiling to the whole mouth, but...He was even thicker than before we started our classes! Not less than 200 kg at first glance!!! I am in shock!!! to

How is it!! How did he get back in 2 weeks what he wasted in a year of hard work!!!! to

I could not say a word. In my head there were thoughts about my complete incompetence, about some kind of Sergey’s illness, about the need to change the profession.



What happened to you? I asked when I could talk.

Nothing, everything is fine! Here is my brother brought to you, he also wants to lose weight, seeing my results!

With these words from the back of the first "Sergei" came out the second - a complete copy of the first, only already slim and ardent, with the same smile on the face.

“Sorry, Marina, you decided to play a little bit with my brother. This is my twin brother, we are constantly confused.



I almost killed them both later.“..

To overcome others, you must overcome yourself.

The accountant died. The Apostle Peter looked into the book of his life, scratched the nymph and said:
You have equal sins and righteous deeds. So I’ll give you a choice: Heaven or Hell.
I went on an excursion. They go to hell, and there a bunch of clerks are hanging, swirling, documents are carried, printers chew paper, compops are hanged, servacles are dull, coffee is liters, cigarette smoke is hanging, the chiefs are hanging, phones are ringing - the month is closed.
The accountant rejected:
I have had enough of that in my life! I want to see heaven.
They come to heaven, they open the door and... The same picture – clerks, runners, documents, compasses, calls, screams.
Accountants are confused:
Right now the same!
No, they have a balance!

Xxx: How is it right, Ukrainian soldier on Ukrainian soil, or in Ukrainian soil?

It doesn’t matter what a woman wants. Only not from you.

My daughter, who is 11 years old, lost a phone – a good one, not a cheap one. We go and look, of course, I argue all the way. We cross the road. Suddenly a scream. A little boy runs on a selfie. His mother cried out, who could not catch him. Just a large SUV was flying, the driver simply did not see the child. Somewhat miraculously turning, I catch the boy along with the scooter and pull out of under the wheels. Thanks to the shocked driver and the frightened mother. Back home, the daughter says, "Mom, it's probably good that I lost my phone, if we didn't go there, the boy would have died."
P.S A man found the phone and gave it to us that same evening.

Bad character can only afford very demanding people.

As a child, my parents forbade me to read while lying down. I allow my children to read even standing on their heads, but they don’t read anyway.

I have a nephew, from the side of my wife, 30 years old, lives in Moscow. Coming somewhere in the summer with his girlfriend to my grandmother, my aunt, then beat. And the girl with him is a convinced vegetarian, well, the tribe also became a vegetarian on this occasion.

My mother-in-law is baskirka, and almost all baskirsk dishes are fat and are prepared from meat. Covers on the table, neither grandson nor kәlәsh (bride) eat virtually anything, even the firm grandmother's bowl with pumpkin, meat and potatoes, not to mention mantles. The grandson explains to the grandmother:

Do you know we don’t eat meat?

Why is?

We are vegetarians and have decided to give up meat.

I have loved meat all my life.

I don’t eat it, it’s my decision.

Because of her?

Not my grandmother, I decided.

The girl stared angrily at her:

Animal protein can be replaced with vegetable protein.

How?

For example, mushrooms are like meat.

10 seconds think and give:

If the mushrooms were like meat, the wolf would eat them.

xxx: soon the neuron will animate and sound. He already knows how to write stories.



YYY: I’m waiting for a time when you can write a script, choose actors, and the neural network will make a movie with them.



XXX: I don’t think it’s too long.

And again, if you work, for example, in the office, the neuron will go for you to work, call, buy-sell, sign, draw a plan and schedule, draft what you need to insert and leave the money to the owner. And you can at this time calmly under the bridge near the fire to warm up with former colleagues.

XXX: I watched the trailer of the movie "Avanpost". There, according to the scenario, 99.5% of the Earth's population died, and by some ridiculous coincidence of circumstances, only the most idle Russian actors survived.

To unleash a war and win, is able, sometimes, endless degeneration. The great man will do everything to avoid bloodshed.

When my mother-in-law cut off in the ambulance and the helmet didn’t act, I stopped and asked:
Where is the money? If you die, we will not find it.
She immediately opened her eyes and said:
“Shirt to you, not money, I will only tell the daughter.

Nearly had to pump the doctor and the driver: they barely laughed.

I like to go to the market.
Mandarin at 240 and хурма at 160. You are 500.
It gets 400!! to
Give him 400.

Our teacher asked me what my favorite animal was, and I replied, “Fried chicken.”



She says it’s not funny. But she was wrong because everyone else in the class laughed. My parents taught me to always tell the truth. I did so. The fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my father about this, and he replied that people love animals very much. But I too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.



The teacher sent me to the director’s office. I told him what happened and he laughed too. But then I told him not to do that again.



The next day, my teacher asked me what my favorite animal was. I said a chicken. She asked – why? I answered because it can make a fried chicken. She sent me back to the director’s office. He laughed, but told me not to do it again.



I do not understand. My parents tell me to be honest with everyone, but the teacher doesn’t like being honest. Today she asked me which of the famous people I liked the most.



I answered “Colonel Sanders.” Guess where I am now...

In the evening, my wife and I are both.

She: I suddenly understood something.

He said: If I had not been born, you would have married another.

All is

The society would be perfect if all politicians were sitting where they should.

One of my acquaintances, unmarried, just over thirty, was taken on vacation to the other end of the city. Where it rarely happens. And here Nadia sits on a bench next to a small bowl and eats ice cream with strawberries. Suddenly I watched something happening near her. The company of boys mocked over their peers, pushed him to the ground, calls. Of course, she did not resist, dropped the under-eaten ice cream, intervened, dispersed the hooligans. Someone even got a bag on the back. A boy of ten or eleven wiped his broken nose with a stretched cloth and thanked him.
and thanks.
Not for what. How to find your parents? Can I call my mom?
Nadia really called, but her mother was strange - she said she could only come in an hour or a half. Well, what to do, my acquaintance didn't give up, took me to the cafe for lunch. Sitting cracked cakes with peaches, a salad with crab sticks, and moms are not. The boy, whose name was Vitaly, called her back, but the parent asked to give Nadia a telephone and told her to take her son to the center of the city if possible, and there he will wait for her. Not a small. Nadia agreed, but from the conversation immediately understood that Mom would not be soon. And the guy got something at all, rattled.
It was a pity for him, so my friend took and for some reason pulled the upset child into the park. This park she could not tolerate, because she walked there all the time alone, and people around the opposite with someone. Hope liked it this time. Riding a carousel, feeding a duck and swallow, bought Vitaly sugar cotton and chips. In return, he told me a lot of interesting things. With jokes, they reached the center. They sat on the bench, laughed, talked with their feet and suddenly the boy shouted:
Aunt Nadia, Daddy, Daddy is coming!
Nadia turns her head in the indicated direction and dies like a thunderstorm. Why is? Because she saw her colleague on the former job, in which she was in love, but was afraid that she would not find a common language with his son from his first marriage, because she did not know how to communicate with children (there was no experience), so she did not respond to his steps. It turns out, the boy's mother could not ask from work and called his ex-husband, who after this incident a couple of years later became Nadine husband.