bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №137491
 02.01.2017
To the doctor, who served for the New Year, a recommendation on the complaints of the robbers. Do not let go of honey. Testing for alcohol. Such goats must be taught by their own methods. Let the hospital have a record of the state of alcoholic intoxication. And I’ll see how the joyful accountant will pay them for it at a minimum (or even at all...)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №137490
 02.01.2017
Looking in the indicated direction, I saw a surprising picture: a cottage village stood far away.Great houses, with racks, columns and balustrades, were stunning in scale and cost. The genius of the thesis “life succeeded” was ruined by only one nuance: all oligarchic structures stood shoulder to shoulder. From your window, you could see how a neighbor counts his millions or orders a competitor.This was built in the 90s, when there was a lot of money, and it was not yet decided to sell the land. Therefore, the citadel was built on almost the same six hundred.
In addition, then they thought they would be friends forever and go to each other for tea with strawberries. But life has made its own adjustments: the owners of cottages have long lived on their hectares in Spain, where their horses and racing people can walk, and on their first sub-Moscow construction experiments, which were given to abandoned wives to separate themselves, long and hopelessly hang the tablets "Sold".

[ + 37 - ] [7 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №137489
 02.01.2017
I recently read The Three Musketeers. In general, it turns out that Pidaras is just D'Artagnan.

[ + 33 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №137488
 02.01.2017
Revenge is the last thing. You must love your enemy so as to exhaust his whole soul.

[ + 41 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №137487
 02.01.2017
The history of the 31/12 deficit.
The deficit of Soviet time is now perceived with negativity. But this medal has two sides. As a person who was 14 years old in 1985, I have the right to have an eyewitness note. I will not talk about servings and 40 varieties of cheese - here the achievements are undisputed :)) I will say about bread and milk.

First about today.
Today I went to the market with my minors (9+12) to buy fruits and salads for the New Year’s table. We loaded up, drove to the exit and suddenly I see a turn. The man 30. He came closer and found himself looking for bread. A small tent from the "sovkovo" bakery, the products of which I did not get in the shops. The buttons lay in wooden pots, well-known to those who were over 40. Bread was needed, the look at the turn caused nostalgic notes and another fighter was added to the squadron.
The kids did not understand me. A couple of times they approached - "Daddy, it's cold on the street, why are you standing, let's go near the house to Dixie / Cross / Albuquerque and buy bread."
But the turn passed quickly and adding 2 classic buttons (a-la 25 kopecks) to the bag, we moved home. The bread was fresh, but not hot at the sale and we went home for forty minutes. But! At home, 2 batons of children (and not only) efforts "left" in an hour. The bread was delicious.

Since I was 7 years old, I have been the main supplier of everyday home products. Returning from school to run to the bread store, to the dairy, and sometimes to the butter/cream became an imperceptible and easy task. There were rounds in the shops, each of which I spent 2-5-10 minutes. Sometimes there was nothing and I had to go to the store again. One day I couldn’t buy anything.

The food was fresh!! The bread was brought from the bakery immediately after the "night", "morning" or "day" baking. Yesterday’s bread or milk was not considered a purchase option at all.
Milk was purchased in order to drink, cook cakes and make cheese.

What we have achieved now. Trade chains, destroying specialized stores of Bread / Milk, put producers in conditions where they simply cannot produce a quality product. As long as the networks put him on the shelf, everything is gone.
All unsold bread is returned to the bakery, which is forced to add it to the new bakery. Up to half of the “new” bread consists of the “second.” Because of this, the taste of bread is simply absent, and the mold, on the contrary, is in excess. According to Soviet standards, the investment should not be more than 5%
Bread everywhere fast cooking, with breweries, and milk with preservatives. It doesn’t squeeze, it squeezes!! to
Manufacturers simply cannot send networks to@"%, to sell products nowhere. Keeping your points is not expensive.

We lost a quality product "in the row" and got ga@but in the range. Maybe somebody likes it. I found my tent.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №137486
 02.01.2017
I was in Peter for two weeks. Now I understand all kinds of rain: rain with the sun, rain with the wind, rain with the grail, rain with the snow, steep rain, vertical rain, small frost, rain with the wall...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №137485
 02.01.2017
The artists will understand.
and xxx? He is a sick perverse, he has a porn girl lying in the same folder with seeds of executions and torture.
xxx: please note, this folder is called "REFERENCE"

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №137484
 02.01.2017
Psyches are everywhere, only those who burn are in the psychic.

[ + 47 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №137483
 02.01.2017
The sergeelectric
Bloggers and journalists. I thought that one today was already, usually there are so many of them for replacement is not, but there is an exception.A guy and girl aged 30-33 with a tablet, shoot me, commenting on the time of arrival, the time of the call, ask my name.I call, please indicate the problem, but the soap-wiping starts with "show the certificate, the permit group, and where we know you are from Emergency.."I say, like a hundred times before this: No certificate, name called, check my "authenticity" can with the controller, if there is no problem, then I go away.The problem is not burning the light in the kitchen.The electricity is there, just does not burn the light "isclose the luster".I get up on What’s wrong with them?I push my shoulders – was it a problem? Is she no longer? Danger is eliminated. With a celebration. Bloggers look at me, on each other, in the background the singer sings narrow-cut, young people clearly naeblai themselves.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №137482
 02.01.2017
One of the volunteer organizations has issued maps for refugees in their native languages.
In large cities, important places are marked for them: mosques, points of distribution of charitable aid, etc. Bright colors indicate dangers (police stations, military and strategically important objects, etc.).) is

And as brightly as possible on the schemes are the quarters settled by the Russians.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №137481
 01.01.2017
A Gift Under the Rope

On December 5, 2016 on the site Medportal.ru appear the first documentary information about the unexplained increase in the prices of public procurement of oncopreparations. In one year, the price of some drugs increased 11 times. Mahson A.N. confirms this information and I publish an article What Happens to the 62nd Cancer Hospital or Ordinary Crime, which presents a comparative analysis of public procurement and procurement in the 62nd hospital. The hospital always bought the same medicines in times cheaper!
But the main thing is that the money from the budget was allocated several times more, and medicines were purchased significantly less.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №137480
 01.01.2017
Still strange people in Lurk in general and amins in particular. Disguise the general scandalous and wonder why from the advertising level "enlarge the penis and Sunday with Jakubovich" no repayment. One went in, looked, thought, what an ugly shit advertisement for the Cretan CIA, but I will tolerate, I understand that it is necessary for the site. The second came in and thought the same thing. The Third. And where are those mysterious fools who have to knock on this advertisement and bring money to the site? Everything is waiting for them. Everything is endured and endured, everything is waiting and waiting. Try screwdrivers with lithium battery to advertise or there Chinese microscopes "as in childhood", what. Or programmers for PIKs, or aircraft model engines. Or anything but a shock. The penis of Yakubovich died.

G is logical.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №137479
 01.01.2017
Banners in the style of "Yakubovich died" finally stopped getting on the site.
XXX: Christmas wonders:))) But for a long time they jerked!
YYY: Are they still alive?? to
ZZZ: Wow, the theme for new banners: Yakubovich has risen! Viva the Yakubovich! The shock! See also:"

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №137478
 01.01.2017
by Peterson

The New Year. We were already sleeping with the cat, each on his couch, the cat by the window. The petards, of course, burn wildly right under the windows. I look, puffy, like a baby, louder than usual, he will raise his head, blink on me with his eyes, judge that I am lying quietly, I do not jump up, I do not rush to escape, and it goes back. and smart.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №137477
 01.01.2017
Arena: Children are scared - they cry in the unison. I had to say that the air defense is trying to shoot down Santa and pick up gifts for themselves.

Welovedoit: Now they are silent and trembling a little? It is great!

ga3ry: now they want to serve in the air defense

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №137476
 01.01.2017
A new year like my aunt. Meet, do not meet, it will end anyway.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №137475
 01.01.2017
What did we do to the members that they pass such laws?

[ + 23 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №137474
 01.01.2017
xxx: last ten minutes of last year I cut the wires))
ZZZ: What are they?
xxx: first from the old key then the power wire
ZZZ: is it up?
XXX: The Seeking
xxx: in the aluminum key
Zzzz: Why do you need copper?
Check that the shampoo is not on methanol.
ZZZ: aa ye
ZZZ: I do not think.
I bought it in Kirovsk, through EGAIS.
The copper heated likewise did not smell of formaline.
zzz: there is another app for the smartphone
zzz: checks the barcode on the excise mark
xxx: and I already thought - you plunge your smartphone into alcohol and if the closed copper parts did not smell formaline...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №137473
 01.01.2017
Today 31 December 2016.
I went to the store for products on the NH. I passed by the washing machine and saw a man washing some kind of coat. Old, swollen, dry, but once it was clearly a tree. I stumbled into the container, so that the top of the rod went and went in the same direction as me, to the stop of the routes, where the warehouses and the apple market. Guess what he did? I washed, bought a new tree and dropped it home.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №137472
 01.01.2017

Armenians 22:51 so I want to suppress your soft sauce

I: God is not
Hnyik, you're not like all the guys - would lie that I'm not fat and everyone would be happy

Armenians 22:52 I am hollow this is a healthy pull

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna