from JJ:

This summer, for the balcony surrounding the office of our CEO, we ordered containers with elegant, geometric tuis from the florist company. But something in the florist company with the care of these magnificent plants did not go well, and today I saw with horror that the tuis suddenly shattered and was about to bend.
Since everything that relates to the CEO in our company acquires a special status of importance and urgency, I immediately settled to write a letter to the florist company. In the letter I decided to use the most terrible and significant expressions.

But since today, Friday the thirteenth, a letter with the following soul-breaking subject was sent to the florist company.
"Please take action immediately! Next to our CEO Yellow and Dry Hui"

He loved his neighbor for his distance.

The story of a water builder about grandmother.

In 2000, we had a small company for the production and placement of pavement tiles.
And here is another object, small, for three days of work. Workers/tools/materials were brought, they began to forge there. The next day they call – the tiles are missing.
How is it missing?
Everyone – and the building manager, and I, and the warehouses are completely confused. They were sent out and taken away with a small amount of money.
They sent them more.
History repeats in the morning.
The misunderstanding grows into a light offhinence. The workers themselves are trying it - the meaning of zero, they are interested in doing everything at a pace and getting money.
In general, they began to sin on the local alkashi, although two questions remained unclear - how to drag and where afterwards. Unfortunately, the bottles can’t be changed...
In general, we consulted and decided to arrange a seat, or we won't finish it in two weeks. He sat down with a beer in the bar and waited.
When the “enemy” appeared, our ofogenesis reached the stupor.
The grandmother of God, with its own size slightly larger than the real, crossed through the fence and began to spit the tiles in two "Chelnokov" balls. Then I went back with the balls!! She was very excited about where she came from.
When the stupor passed, we got up from the bench and went to recalculate the shortage, the stupor grew into a paralysis of the voices - the grandmother fired 36 tiles!!! to
Calculate for yourself – 3.5 kg each.

by p.s In the early twentieth century, the most popular life questions were “What to do?” and “Who’s to blame?” In our century there are others. “How?” and “Nafiga?”

When I eat, I am deaf and dumb. When I drink, I’m more communicative.

Yesterday, for the first time in practice, I realized the practical benefit of the increased hairiness of my own feet, when, sitting on the toilet, for a few minutes with enthusiasm observed how the mosquito, a disgusting bloodthirsty, confused in the wool, in vain trying to get to the craved meat.

Zed: I’m also ready with any very beautiful girl right in bed!
Zed: or while you talk - all desire disappears with such a foolish fuck))

Well, once everybody here started to remember how the girls moved to them, I gave my five gold dokins. My girlfriend came to me and began to bring order. I hear from the kitchen:
You are so beautiful, my puppy! Okay go here!
I think the cat is hungry. I watched him quietly on the couch. I drop into the kitchen, and the girl throws into the garbage brought by her mother's bowl, which for two weeks so in the refrigerator stood. I don’t even remember what it was, but the mold on it is really a puffy one that grew up.)
by Zy. Those who write here that it is unbearable to live with a girl, that they are beaten, the brain fucking, and so on. Do not behave like fools dead, respect her, and you will be respected in response. How many examples have I seen when a man is really wrong, but he cries, and makes her guilty. Of course, she will respond. At first, the truth will be difficult if you are accustomed to living alone and do not deny yourself anything. In something you will have to change habits, adapt, well, think that she too lives much more comfortably, she also hurts herself to be with you. Change yourself, and don’t try to change each other.
A hero-e-bar is also good to live, but only as long as you have one sexas in your head, and as you grow up - you want warmth nearby, care. Just somebody is already 20 men, and somebody is 50 boys, whose tail rules a dog.

The sign.
If the girl on the page in the contact record in the column "phone" changed from "I don't remember", "red" or "Naturally, Nokia!" to the real phone number - her hope to get married is melting with every day.

From the license agreement:

You can distribute and use this program in the following ways: run, forward to friends and enemies, print screenshots from it on the printer, submit to a loved one,
wash, beat, write on disquets and sidecards, and then scratch them with nails, forget about it, hang on their sites, throw, sell (if there are idiots), buy, HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW

I owe him a jacket. I came to the shops to find out. I stand in their office waiting for a reception, at this time one of them has a working phone. Such a monologue:
"Thanks to you Hi, please introduce yourself. What kind of Peter Sergeevich, you are talking to me in a WOMEN’S voice!!!and "

I lived with a girl in an apartment. I rented a car to transport things. While he was driving them in the elevator to the apartment from the yard, the elevator broke. Then, in the middle of the day, the refrigerator broke and the hot water was turned off (planned for a month). I went to my relatives for four days. Half a day goes by and the lights are shut off. A day later, the clock is cut and cut again. At the end of the second day, the light appears, I go to the bathroom to bathe - the mixer is covered and there is no shower. with it, rinse under the crane with cold water - suddenly begins to go away the enamel with the bath. The next day, in the morning, a bucket of thunderstorms glutes and fills the apartment with water. Cut the water for a day - it is already cold. We go to bed - the couch somehow strangely shakes, I sleep and sleep and think - stink, tired, then I look. In the morning I watched — one leg crashed along and broke to the whales, the other — more or less alive. I put two bricks and a book. I’m in the mood of writing, hero.

Another:"There are 12 partners needed in the largest German project!!! For you a stable high income and a car at the expense of the company!..", read me reference even to find out what this is for the "German project"))

XXX: I have read the article. It turns out, you should not be afraid and always brake with the front brake. When braking, the entire percentage weight moves forward, due to inertia, so the front brake is more efficient.
YYYYYYYYYYYYY I forgot to add "We are waiting for your videos on YouTube".

The right hand is the one on which the thumb is on the left.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Just get it right, or I can do two right :)
You are just a hacker.

Russian football team -"We will destroy the reputation of any coach!"

Well, why is everyone around me laughing when I get my phone with a baby socks? This is very practical and can be changed regularly.

Michael is no. here
and
<undef>: did you want to say "mimi"? and :)
and
Michael: Certainly
and
Michael: I forgot
and
<undef>: but your synonymous series is respectful!

xxx: Ultimate Survival on Discovery has just ended. I managed the last five minutes. Also nothing. Grills goes through the pit, bends, raises some shit and says, “Hmm, look, horse hose! It looks like fresh! It smells like fresh ".
WOW: "Mm, fresh breakfast!"
XXX: And throws the horse fucking into the operator's chamber. I would fuck.
The operator pays a lot.
The operator is just a very humble and patient person. Only he would be able to endure when he was thrown into the shit.
XHH: Although you know, keeping up to not fuck Grills is easier.
He is a former Marines of the British Navy.
Yyy: Of course, or suddenly he will say you have a lot of protein, and he will eat.
ууу: "And this is an operator, it has a lot of protein and objections".
xxx: "And in general, I was pretty hungry, and it won’t let me cross the canyon. This is a healthy army knife.
Yyy: You can also make a T-shirt from the operator.
XXX: And a rope of six to eight meters.
YYY: And the Quadrolet.
A shale of bones. 200 as well.
In such a shell you can not only hide from the rain, as I do now, but also offer blood sacrifices to the gods you believe in.

Dear, let’s finally set the boundaries of your stupidity.

In the bus, a mother and her daughter talk:
Why does Kesha want to run out of the cage all the time?
He wants freedom. He is bored in a cage and wants to fly.
He didn’t fly, I saw it. He nodded onto the couch, knelt your flower, and back into the cage. Today I am asking again. Why Why? He is fed, sung, bathed and eaten, I clean it myself.
- Well, our Kesha is a poppy boy, they are all... e-e-e... *stunnedly* freedom-loving, khm-khm.
He does not want to fly, but to squeeze! You know, mom, once the cat is like that, I will release it forever, and I will close the cage, here! Mom... Mom, what, the boys are all like that?
Mommy notices that I am listening, and quickly redens:
–...
And Dad too?
– Well... E-E-E, our daddy is not a puppy.
And the victorious look at me turned away!