bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №8041
 23.07.2008
I work in the technical support provider. The call.
She: Hi, I’m not on the subject, but help me. How to remove icq logs?
I: You know, we do not provide this kind of consulting services.
She: Please help me. You need to... Eugene, by the way, you may remember me? I once called you, I didn’t work on the net and I asked you to read my husband’s email. He is on flight now!
I: Yes, I really remembered her.
Her husband is returning from the flight!! Please help clean the ICQ logs!!! Very needed!! to

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №8040
 23.07.2008
The bear in the news showed... says, you need to fight the mud when getting a job. Or good positions are received not for merits, but by acquaintance... it is funny to hear such things from him.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №8039
 23.07.2008
xxx : how to suspend the execution of code in the command line for n seconds?
YYY: Something tells me that the team pause n
XXX: Something tells me that I don’t...
Tagged with: UGU
yyy : I see )
yyy : ping -n n -w 1000 127.0.0.1 >> null
Did you work as a proctologist?

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №8038
 23.07.2008
Sally (22:12) :
All the parts of David Blaine jumped, ussalso nas!!!))

DEE.m-ka (22:13) :
If you look, you will fall.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №8037
 23.07.2008
I go, I mean, on the street. A guy goes by on rolls with a small child in a load bag. In front of me was the staircase... I was killed by the phrase of the man: “Look, son, the folder will jump!”

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №8036
 23.07.2008
Astesia
by c2l3 -22

Astesia
Fuck, not to you.

Xenu
Is this an advanced naval battle with a huge field and charge capacity?

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №8035
 23.07.2008
I went to the nurse at work today. I say to her so and so headache, give her any pill. She gives me in response: "I can only take birth from you by education obstetrician=)))"

by Mr. Grayves

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №8034
 23.07.2008
by Davidblaine:
On the Mayakovsk transit escalator closed. I can't get to work right now =(

hovering_crocodile is
"Dear passengers In connection with the closure of the transit escalators, use rocket jump to move to the station of Mayakovskaya.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №8033
 23.07.2008
Marina is
I said I wanted to swim with dolphins... so I bought a tap in the bath with a dolphin on a chain.
Even though the aircraft smells more with the eyes...
I think how to take revenge.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №8032
 23.07.2008
Cash: If you suddenly get the opportunity to change, you just have to take your will in your fist.
Tyz-Arves:...and push back into the pants =)

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №8031
 23.07.2008
The joy of calling to the table of orders on Europe+ is disproportionately scarce compared to the joy of calling to us - in those support - although greetings we, like, do not transmit and songs do not include.)

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №8030
 23.07.2008
Toive-to [Jackter] Georgia undertook financial sanctions against Russia.. and immediately the prices rose to the laurel list)))))))))))
[Jackter] to [-Toive-] pleasure! And I like to walk with a laurel crown on my head and imagine myself as Caesar: (((

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №8029
 23.07.2008
And when the telephone (often enough, foolish) shouts of despair: " we have nothing to work!!!", and to my question: " what exactly?" answer "nothing works!!", I squeeze my teeth in order not to say "I hope the brains are still working, or is there a shit too?"

(c) from JJ chiefmaster'a

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №8028
 23.07.2008
(from a conversation with a friend of his wife)
J: No one appreciates me.
M: We appreciate it!
You are friends, you can’t sleep with you.

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №8027
 23.07.2008
In the news:
Drunk Drivers Go to Prison

wolf
This is what project "Accessible Housing"!

[ + 93 - ] Comment quote №8026
 23.07.2008
It was on the Samaritan coast. I sit in the cafe. Behind the shelf, two merchants, persons of Caucasian nationality, are talking to each other. A man approaches the shelf and says:
Two dark goats.
The Caucasians are angry:
What said?
Two dark goats, and he stretches the money.
They scratched their teeth, but the beer was sold.

[ + 85 - ] Comment quote №8025
 23.07.2008
The <fritz> legend tells about the legendary php-programmer, about his skill were legends
<fritz> he travelled from office to office in search of a decent salary
<fritz> interview: - I see a good ball, and how you like the taste of Zend Freemaker!!! to
<fritz> silenced the programmer, because when he interviewed, he was deaf and dumb
<fritz> but then he finished the test task and said
<fritz> – stop talking – let’s program!
<fritz> and was the programmer ruthless and blinded the entire team from the overdose of the screen radiation of his laptop
<fritz> – my eyes! (The Tester)
<fritz> - he is just going away (piem)
<fritz> - and how beautiful he is (secretary)
<fritz> - how do we thank you? (The accounting system)
<fritz> - for its agility - 4500, and for beauty - social package
<fritz> he alone could move an entire office
<fritz> because he was "no more"
<fritz> has never introduced such horror to code
<fritz> and such love
<fritz> and the most heroic heroes of the whole direction bowed their heads in respect to this great master
<fritz> are we going?
<fritz> to the deck!
<fritz> but it wasn’t time to tame, because when you face ten thousand online shit, only one thing matters.
<fritz> and this
Fritz has quit (Quit: )

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №8024
 23.07.2008
Democracy today, as it was under Aristotle, remains only

a system of awareness of a personal view of a new world in which two

The thief will steal more than one, three more than two, four more.

three, and so on, until the complete victory of democracy.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №8023
 23.07.2008
The story took place in the glorious city of Zelenograd in the year edak 2005.

I bombed then at night on my old "ten" a lot and a lot.

The account is not very successful. But let’s not be sad, let’s start. this

A tall and slim guy I noticed from a distance, he ran straight on the road.

The roadway is ridiculously shaking hands trying to brake the sidewalk.

Cowardly blocking the door and dropping down the right glass, I stopped next to it.

with him. It turns out that he was neither a suicide nor a maniac.

He needs to take his aunt and aunt home urgently.

The trauma point. No Questions! The test was solid, high and

intelligent man in perfectly tailored coat and beautiful fur

The hat, the aunt under becomes such, you know, the wife of Decabrist. She

She carefully held her husband under the pen helping him sit on the back.

The seat. On the right foot of the intellectual (hereafter TI)

The fresh gips. In the car the figures are placed (this is important!The following

“A young man from my right hand is behind him, you and I.

In the course of the trip, I almost understood what they had.

has occurred. The young man gave his wife's parents a washing machine.

She absolutely did not want to enter the bathroom door. you

He proposed to remove the door, and MCH was convinced that if the machine

A little up, she goes in. When I raise the laundry

She fell on her leg, and the test was inside, and the machine

stuck in the door intentionally, had to evacuate the wounded

The hands. All this I understood by listening to the monologue of the monologue that

The elderly need to listen, and so on, MCH shrugged his head, it seemed like this

The story had a great impact on his psyche. Here we have arrived.

The front and rear doors opened simultaneously. The bullet jumped out.

The car wants to help the test out. He jumped out with force.

The door did not close.“Strange,” I thought, “Surely the castle

freezing, it will have to be lubricated" Probably the same penetrated the brain and

He knocked the door for the second time. It all happened literally.

A second later, I heard a terrible scream behind my back.

I swear my hair on my head. Oral, no, not even oral, but

You whispered with a wild voice! And then I understood what happened.The doors opened

“It was hard to get up from the back seat and he

He made a terrible mistake taking his hand for the stand between the front and the rear.

The door. That’s why the front door didn’t want to close. of course!

My hand disturbed! And I wanted to smash... I had to go back shortly.

The Injury. Imagine a picture: behind a crawling test with a subwoofer

In front of him, in the tate of his aunt, I am, barely withholding laughter and entirely upset.

with a frozen look. No, this is not the end. The girl calls.

The phone.“Yes, Lennochko, no Lennochko, we go back to the trauma point. Why is? A is

Valer's father also broke his hand. I slow down, I fall off.

Car, I bump my ass in the Sugar and RJU! P.S Continued movement only.

After the son-in-law swore to me that they would continue.

and silence. I did not take money.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №8022
 23.07.2008
Dmitry Medvedev will now deal with corruption personally!

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