bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №154466
 22.06.2020
Employee dismissed from work (change of employee)

I worked for two and a half years and decided it was time to open new horizons.

Approaching and blinking his eyes says: We took the fan here in the fold for 2400. (In the summer, the heat was incredible, and my fan was broken when it was replaced)

As he stays here, give me back half of what I gave.



Well, I say, just let’s debit the loan first.



The sofa on which you sleep is bought for my money. The refrigerator too. Tea and microwave. A 32-inch TV from the house brought-the same money is worth. I don’t even care about the rest.



You have been using it for 2.5 years, it would be time to pay the rent. You are not my friend, nor my brother, nor my relative, that I may keep you at my own expense, right?

Take a purely symbolic depreciation fee of 10 rubles for the replacement of all equipment. It is just like a gift at all. Travelling on the road is three times more expensive.



In 2.5 years, there are about 450 changes. of 10 rubles. There are 3300 more. Clearly by companionship.

I thought his constrictions were enough. The air swallowed.

Everything speaks clearly to you. I left the object and I did not see him again.

In the office then complained that I had thrown him on the money.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №154465
 22.06.2020
Sitting on the bus. Through the stop in front of me sat two ladies aged 35-40. One of them looks at me, then nodded the neighbor in the side and pointed his head at me. She turns around and, looking me in the eyes, turns out a booklet about Jehovah and his Witnesses. and speaks:

“Young man, we see in your eyes that you are suffering some sort of sadness. Read it and it will be easier for you.

I, looking at her with sad eyes, replied:

I want to sweat...

They did not turn to me anymore.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №154464
 22.06.2020
Roughness is an attempt to mask stupidity.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №154463
 22.06.2020
All health and success. This is not my story, but deserves to be read!!!! to

The Russian name

1969 – A Tajik family lives in the Wahsh Valley in the rich Kishalak. And their Russian name is Yakovlev. Studying in the universities of Dushanbe three of their sons, all three Tajik. All are jacquard. A little black-eyed girl runs through the courtyard – a Tajik girl. Her name is Risa. The name Yakovlev. What is the matter?
At the time of the Great Patriotic War, two artillery warriors - the Tajik Abdulhamad Holmuradov and the Russian Nikolai Yakovlev - became friends with a strong soldier friendship. They fought in one artillery calculation, divided the last mahorka, ate from one boiler. They saved each other’s lives. Together they experienced military failures, together they rejoiced in victories: in war as in war.

“Let’s kill the fascists, let’s go to me in Tajikistan,” Abdullah said.
We will live and work together. What gardens, what peaches, what cotton fields! I divide my house in half. Getting married to the best girl in our country. He will see that you are strong like Rustam, and you write poems like Rudaki, and the first beauty will bow before you.
One day before the battle, Nicholas said to a friend:
“You know, Abdullah, if I die, no one will be notified. I remained alone in the white.
Abdullah then replied:
Why think of death, let us live better. Let the fascists get funerals. In my homeland they say that a man is more tender than a flower, but the iron is stronger. You and I must survive until we win.
However, it was not fateful for the Russian boy Nikolai Yakovlev to survive until the bright day of Victory. In August 1943, in a battle at the Mius River, he fell by the death of the brave.
...After some time, in a short pause between the battles, a party assembly of the battery took place. Parthorg read the statement:
“In the party organization of the N-Guardian Artillery Regiment from the guide Nikolai Yakovlevich Yakovlev.
Please join the Communist Party. I will not regret the strength and life for the final victory over the enemy. Nicholas Yakovlev »
The assembly froze. There was silence:
“Everyone knows that Nikolai Yakovlev died.”
Suddenly, Abdulhamid Holmuradov comes forward and says:
I was born in the Wahsh Valley in Tajikistan. But now I am Nikolai Yakovlev. He is my brother. We swore to each other before the battle - the name of the deceased will always be borne by his comrade. In memory of the fall.
In the protocol of the party meeting of the N-Guardian Artillery Regiment was recorded:
“To satisfy the request of Holmuratov, to give him a different name and surname.”
He was unanimously accepted into the party.
Holy memory of a fallen friend. Together with his sons, Nikolai Yakovlev came to the eternal fire. The 60s.

Thus appeared on Tajik land a Tajik with a Russian name, the communist Nikolai Yakovlev.
Friendship is more valuable than wealth, they say in their homeland.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №154462
 22.06.2020
How can I drive if you lack pedals? There were three in the car school.
I have a machine!
Do not threaten me!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №154461
 22.06.2020
“When I was about 5 years old, I had an incredible dream and asked my parents for a set of Lego boats for a long time. Large, with a lot of details. For an enthusiastic child, assembling this designer would become a favorite activity for many evenings.

If not one but. The next day, returning from the kindergarten, he found a near-assembled boat in his father’s hands. Dad had a weekend and he picked it up. In order not to give God his son lost anything, he collected a super glue. He will break, he will lose.”

Now his mother-in-law is under 70, and he has a long-standing hoodie: a hoodie chair. I jokingly suggest to give her to my father for the anniversary, and the next day, for safety, to wrap the anchors to the floor so that he does not fall.

My husband is thinking...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №154460
 22.06.2020
I sit at work, flying a woman 35+ years old

Do you have batteries, do you have batteries?

I ask what needs?

Such a medium.

(I understood that we are talking about the type "C" R14 are salt and alcoholic).

What device do you have?

She first gets red, then hahaha, I won’t say, and the bullet flows out of the store.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna