My diet was 2 days. It was on March 8th :)

So it turned out that I had to give a cat (too much toy and bite, and a baby in the house). New owners a week complained that the cat suffers, does not eat anything, hides and cries at night. He lost weight, they say, take it until he died. Immediately after returning home, the cat eaten a flower, bitten two buttons, with a naughty look collapsed on my knees and stumbled. Well, it is impossible to believe that this self-satisfied miracle just died of hunger and stress. I think this artist has struck us somewhere.

From the school!! to

I write today EGE, the A13 question begins with the words "British scientists have found out...."

After that, it’s harder to write...

Rogneda
0:35 I have the wind outside the window.
The first time I hear this.
I thought it was a dog.

Stix
0:35 Hockey =

xxx: what to go to the dentistry, what is the fit, grit is to call?
XXX: I didn’t call and went on.

Conversation with a potential employer:
Sergey, I looked at the work you sent. In principle, I liked everything, and at the price I seem to be satisfied. There are only two moments that bother me.
Which ones?
First of all, there is so much space in the pictures! Of course, with such squares it is not difficult to make beautiful, everything is well arranged. Everything is so stuck!
I think we can write up everything we need.
and UGU. And secondly... em... I’m worried about your male gender.
and?! to
Your approach to design is masculine. I need a female interior. I care about it.
Actually, I don’t even know how to reassure you.)
Just tell me you are gay!
– O_0

I got a thermometer today.
How! → 0 - O
- I approach him, I say - "Hernovaja weather today", and he me: "+1"...

Pandora
And I also got a talisman from Vancouver yesterday :)

Gennady
Burn him up.

Announcement of acquaintances:
I am looking for a guy with a great sense of humor. I fuck my brain, poison my life, make a scandal, strike my self-esteem, mess with friends, mess with text messages, exhaust my nerves...
O_O

Council No. 1 If one of the socks is pierced on your finger, and you are invited to visit, just change the socks in places. The chance that the hole will not be noticed increases greatly.
Council No. 2 So that the socks do not rot, periodically change their places. Finger holes will then appear much later.
Council No. 3 So that the socks don’t rub on the heels, periodically turn them on the foot by 15-20 degrees.
Different combinations of these useful tips will significantly increase the useful life of your socks.

The fucking! You go on a hike, you jump with a parachute, you do not strive, you walk alone at night, and you refuse to wipe out the vacuum cleaner because there 2 weeks ago the dead cockroach sucked!

XXX is here. How did you meet your husband?
YYY: I went home, no one was hanging, rushing out of the corner, drunk into death, barely on my legs to hold... Well, I think only that I still didn’t mind... He struck me tightly, slowly so "scan" me looking up and down and back, and then dreamingly so said "Oh you!" and fell. And it was winter, I am sorry for him on the one hand (it will freeze), and on the other hand it is scary (unfamiliar, healthy, drunk ambal), and he does not even try to get up, such a feeling that he fell asleep. And it is a pity to call the police... In general, not without foreign help, they brought him home to me. We have been together for 3.5 years. By the way, he does not drink. ^ ^ ^

I walk around the street, I see micro SD rolling, I think: "Oh, cool!". I raise. and 128 megabytes. He rolled on further...

She: Listen, I opened the launch on the panel here...
He is :??? to

HHH
Who gave me a tail to a drunk? =) is
YYYY
You don’t ask anyone when you’re drunk 😉

x> at work writer
h> with a diploma writer
h> with the Military Command
h> with a girl writer
h> with car writer
h> just like that

I work in a karaoke club, I play songs.
When no one sings on our television, the music channel is broadcast and in the bottom of the SMS chat.
Comes at 4 a.m. a man drunk, approaches me, orders a song, I put it, and I forget to switch from the telephone to karaoke... It had to be heard when he on the music of the Eighth Class, Tsoy, elegantly put the following: "Andryuha Priva a crying sign, as part of the questioning sign of the two-point clutch clutch clutch ";;
) ) )

British scientists say:"Some shit!!and "

Before visiting the BOR, he believed that a person with a higher education could not be a fool. You turned my worldview.

Tim: Hi, do you have that status? What happened?
Mealisa: Yes, this is the story... our director found us a client, assigned him to a girl manager. The client is rare. Not only did he exhaust her whole brain, we also got it. Everything is not so for him. We threatened to send some complaints to the girl to our director.
Tim: Nifga is, she was lucky. I would send him away.
You can’t be a customer with a big order. In short, this complaint letter comes to us. Signature of Brain A.V. I was hysterical! The name justifies the behavior of this fool for all hundred!
Tim: ухахахахахахаха *Uppz patztol*
Meelis: From one mention of him, the office was roaring for 15 minutes. But the laughter was short, one beautiful day this brainstorm brought our employee to tears and hysteria. She sat down with Valerie to calm her down. I was in anger. Here is a call from him. I talked to myself. It was filled with shit, caprices, dissatisfaction and words "you have little letters? I will go on then!" pause. I can’t stand and say "the brain shut down?"
The OMG!
Melissa: That was my biggest mistake. Tomorrow at the carpet.